Working mom or stay at home mom? When I was a working mom all I could think of was spending more time with my son and now that I am a stay at home mom I think how horrible it is to be financially dependent. The devil of the mind will always look for greener pastures in the things that it does not have. So the only way I know to hold the reins of the wild horses is to do some self introspection and visit the sorted list of priorities at any given point in time.
There is a huge data base on the Internet on working mom versus a stay at home mom. Now that I have experienced a little of both worlds I must say each has its own pros and cons and it is really a personal thing. As a working mom the common lunch table discussions with my colleagues who were moms was the perpetual lack of time available to do enviable things stay at home mommies do – spend time children, good housekeeping and cooking and pursuing hobbies. Now that I am a stay at home mommy and I regularly take my child out to play in the evenings, I meet other mothers who too were once working women and many time the favourite topic of discussion is the desire to start work again.
I guess it is only the women who have to face this decision and never the man. The female of all species on the planet are primarily responsible for nurturing the offspring. It is not to say that the male is incapable. It is only natural that the one who gives birth is the one that has an unbreakable bond formed with the child from a fetal stage and perhaps that is why the primary responsibility.
A few generations back, say even one generation back when my mom was a mom my age, most women were quite comfortable with with fact that after graduation comes marriage and then home and kids. That was their life and quite uncomplicated at that. There was a clear divide in the responsibilities, the woman as a caretaker and the man as a provider. The complications started when women decided to foray into the man’s field and started taking equal responsibilities to earn the bread as well. With the additional responsibilities there has been a shift in the nurturing ways. These have also caused a shift in the responsibilities of the man.
From two generations back where most males would abstain from household chores, males today are helping out with the cooking, cleaning, laundry and the sundry household chores. If women have so easily accepted and conquered the additional responsibilities outside the home then why is it so difficult to get rid of the emotional baggage that comes with compromising on the first-hand nurturing. While we have evolved and adapted quite well on the newly acquired responsibilities outside home, we will have to wait and see how the we evolve on the emotional front. Shedding this baggage is still a long way to go.
